Tuesday, December 06, 2005
Hi my name is______. I am a ________.
Well, I've been reading the thoughts of others on these "blogs" for some time now. At some moments I am critical of what I read, at others contemplative, and for some that I read I am just impressed by the honesty of that person--the way they share their inner thoughts to a group of strangers. Initally, I had trouble understanding why people do this or I wondered, would you have to be an ego-maniac to think any one really gives a shit? That is the cynical side of myself. I remember being in this philosophy class in college, thoughts being thrown about the classroom on a passage found within the Tibetan Boook of the Dead (by the way, one of my favorite texts). The first few weeks everyone was really involved and open-minded, but as weeks passed enthusiasm waned and it appeared people were annoyed and thinking, "Does this person really think this?" I am going to play both sides here--this week I care and maybe you will too. It could be in a few weeks of reading this thing and you'll think--"What's the point?"--"Does she really think this shit?" Yes and no.
Here's the positive side of myself thinking the following: This may be the one place where it is easier to be judged by strangers, where friends who care take note of your thoughts periodically and "check-in" to how you're doing. It may also be a place where curiosity sets in and we just read to judge. I want to use this space to "check-in" to what's going on inside my head and I hope I get to hear what you're thinking. My purpose for starting this is for all of the above and one additional reason. I guess I am going to treat this like an AA meeting. It is my opportunity to stand before my friends, those strangers who may come upon this Blog, and to hold myself accountable for all the things that go on in my brain and for all the things I say I am going to do in my life. I don't want to sound"trite" when I write this but I find myself getting further away from accountability as possible. It is one thing to think you'll do something, it is another to do it. Each week or month I am going to take responsiblity for something, update those who care, and be held responsible for the words I write and the commitments I make.
Commitment #1
Lose Weight. My first task will be a selfish one. I think I nearly fell on the floor when I get on the scale today. I wish I had stepped on it about 6 months ago. I am having a Kirstie Alley moment. I am not going to start a show on "Fat Actresses" or anything. I am just going to say--Hey I'm fat and I'm going to fix it. Plain and Simple. I refuse to shop at Lane Bryant. I should be going into cardiac arrest or something, but I'm still here and I need to get off my fat ass. Signed up for Weight Watchers and here I go...Day 1 is tomorrow....30 lbs to go to reach goal! This sucks!
davisjm1 at 7:40 PM